I tend to forget just how bad my skin used to be. I jwas just absent mindedly picking at my arms and feeling sorry for myself when I decided to look back through this blog. Well, wow. The first photo (3in1) is not long after I got a serious throat infection from picking at pimples and the skin on my face. My derma was the worst it has ever been and it really showed. I hated myself. I hated being in my own skin. I hated existing.
The last 3 photos were all taken within the last few months - two taken with a good camera and lighting (but no editing) and the final one was taken minutes ago with my webcam. I’ve changed my BC pill which helps keep my PMDD under better control. I’ve changed uni courses to something I enjoy, and started a photography business. I drink more water and use natural products on my skin because I know how sensitive it is. I’ve started masturbating. I’ve decided to be selfish, look after myself, and do things that make me feel good.
I am an important person. I can help people. I can help animals. I can make my goddaughters smile and laugh even after they have just been crying.
I have come so far. It is so easy to forget the progress you have made and to feel like you are getting absolutely no where. I have definitely had relapses and gone backwards at times but even when my skin is looking sore, I know that my mindset is nothing like it used to be. I am now an active participant in my life. I’m not afraid to take care of myself. I know that I deserve to take care of myself. I deserve to be happy. I deserve to love the skin that I’m in.
For some reason this post is getting a little attention at the moment. I honestly can’t believe my skin was ever that bad. I can’t believe how much I hated myself. I’m in a pretty good place right now, and while I still have big ups and downs I’m better at controlling my emotions, keeping my hands busy, and feeling good about myself.